A lot of you have probably noticed the site hasnt been updated in awhile. This is mainly due to my computer calling it quits, but there hasn’t been any big news lately that everyone doesn’t know about. 14.2 is going to be a big patch for us, but I did n t want to say anything about it until it seemed like they had a better idea of what they were doing with things like Grid Armor (which we got them to adjust).
So right now I’m waiting with the rest of you to see what happens. Hopefully we’ll get more changed, but the initial adjustments are definitely a step in the right direction. Because I don t want to make this post any longer, here are some links;
Your Fixer won’t ask any embarrassing questions. We don’t need proof that you own a shotgun. We won’t ask for a receipt. We won’t ask how you lost it. We won’t ask why you want it, or what you’re going to do with it. It’s not that we don’t care. We care deeply. But we respect you, and we respect your privacy, and if you say you need your shotgun, we’ll be ready and willing to listen to you, even if nobody else will.
And, asking only fair compensation for the hour or so of work involved, your Fixer will get you your lost or missing item. Item retrieval is a speciality of ours. We’ll find your shotgun for you, or whatever it is that you’re missing. And, well, if we can’t find your shotgun, we can certainly find you another stolen shotgun, or one in the hands of Bad People, or one that we’ve been offered in reward for our other services.
Sure, anyone can do this. But we do it best, because we can even do it compassionately. We don’t have to go room by room, slugging it out, putting dozens of people, even bad people, through the pain of gunshot wounds and Reclaim. We could do that, and if we think we absolutely must, we will. Nor do we brutally rape peoples’ minds, like certain professions I could name, forcing them to act contrary to their own best interests.
We have a more compassionate alternative, and one that actually gets you your property more quickly. We use our specialized profession chips, and carefully tuned software, and innate skill to digitize most of our mass, encoding it safely in the Grid like this article. We then run through there so fast that the bad people barely have time to react. In no time at all, there we are on your link, telling you that we’re ready to bring you your long-missed shotgun.
And if it should take us too long to search, and we die in blazing agony under a hundred gunshot and bludgeon wounds, and the only way we can get your shotgun is by picking it up with our reconstituted possessions at the Reclaim terminal … well, so what? What’s a few minutes’ pain for a Fixer measured against your pain and loss, for want of a shotgun? So long as we are paid for our time, we account our hurt for nothing, because it’s all in service of your need.
A wise solitus once said, “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” When you are weeping for your lost or missing items, we will weep with you. And we will dry your tears, and solace your loss, and make you whole again. And all we ask is a reasonable fee, to let us make a living.
And if that fee seems a bit high, remember that we also, to show our compassion, must rejoice with those that do rejoice. So if a Fixer offends you with loud music, loud clothing, or loud laughter, please, be assured, we’re not doing it just for our own sake. It’s a sacred duty, an obligation, something we’re doing because we must, in order to spread joy and happiness. But spreading joy is not always cheap, so raising money is also a regrettable but necessary fact of life.
If the joy and happiness we are bringing to others, via our life or our work, makes you think that we’re some kind of criminals, well, then you’re just a bad person. But that’s OK. We’re compassionate. We forgive you, and we’ll still listen to you, too, when you need to do business with us.